A match made in hell

So I knocked on the doors and was answered by Lucifer himself.

Oh, my friend, how are you?  It's so nice of you to visit.  I have quite a few things to attend to but please come in, you know you're always welcome here.

Truly, he was not one to forget sinners.

Yes, I was actually betting on that.

He looks at me oddly as if he didn't know what I was talking about.

Hmmm… Anyway, come in.  Come in.  Let me heat up a pot and we can go ahead and discuss whatever it is that you came here for.

I step into his house.  It's not as warm as I'd expected it to be and Lucifer's not like what he used to be.  I don't remember him being so perky and appropriate.  It could be the endless soul counting, it must drive him nuts.  Even with all the exceptions and loopholes that He made, Lucy sure still gets quite a lot.

So, how's everything?  How're the numbers working for you?

He fumbles clumsily with the cups.   He's not used to visitors.

Good, good.  Not too shabby.  A little less than expected, but you kind of get that at the end of the year with everyone repenting and all.  These guys don't even know that Christmas is on the wrong day but, oh well, whatever floats their boat.

I shrug.

So, what was it you wanted?  You want me to shorten your sentence, is that it?  You know I don't do that.  It's too late, you know the rules.  Even He can't make me.

A shadow of a smile creeps into my lips.

 Don't be stupid.  It's not that.

He's obviously annoyed at my insolence.

Well, what in the hell is it?  I haven't got all day… Well, actually I do, but that doesn't stop me from being impatient.

I wonder if I should annoy him a little more, just for the fun of it.  What's another thousand years anyway.

There's something I want to see.  Back there.  Just a little peek.  I know you've done it before.

He takes a sip, as if to think.  But he already has all the answers.

And why would I do that?  Don't even think you can bargain with me because your soul makes little difference down here. 

As if I didn't know.  I hate it when he does that.

I know you need some help down here.  That much you've gotta admit.  So, I'm willing to help you out. I wanna stay here for keeps.

Silence.

 What?  Who do you think you are? Faust? 

More silence.

On the presumption that this will make my day less boring, I will humour you.  Come back tomorrow.

 

I put my coffee down, stand up and walk out without hesitation.  His gaze lingers on me.  I can feel it.  Something's cooking in his head.